Before you set their table...

This week, I’m finally doing the thing I’ve been putting off for way too long: foot surgery.

But, Laura, you say: could you possibly write about a less sexy topic?

By the way, to all of my new subscribers -- hi! -- I don't actually promise sexy topics. And, yet, I can promise that some, maybe this one still, might hit you squarely in the solar plexus.

Why?

Because while foot surgery isn't sexy, prioritizing yourself is.

Let me tell you what I mean.

My mother's birthday is November 25th. And, as a nice Jewish girl married to an (even nicer) Catholic boy, the split between doing Thanksgiving with my side of the family and Christmas with his was a no-brainer. To wit: I haven't missed Thanksgiving in 54 years.

Until now.

Let me tell you that the guilt I am feeling could fill the Grand Canyon.

This guilt isn't coming from my mom -- also, hi! -- but from myself.

I've needed this surgery for 12 years. But, while it's not a major surgery, it does mean that I'll be off my feet for four to six weeks. That's tough given that I run through airports and stand on stages for a living.

I was so proud of myself that I'd scheduled the surgery for last week, which would give me two full weeks to at least get from the crutches stage to the boot stage, allowing me to perfectly thread the needle of classroom obligations, client contracts, and family commitments, showing up for school, work, and Thanksgiving. I'm not even sure Harry Houdini could pull off this magic trick.

And then, the universe laughed at me, and my doctor had a last minute reschedule, and now the surgery that was to be last week is now to be tomorrow. And, poof, magically, there goes my recovery time.

I almost rescheduled the surgery about 80,000,000 times... to next November, the only time when life and school and work slows down enough to have the time off my feet. I could deal with walking on a foot that felt like rusty razor blades for another year, right? I've already handled it for 12 years. What's another year? I'm fine.

But, being “fine” isn’t the same as being well. Because here's what I know is true: Taking care of yourself isn’t a luxury. It’s a leadership skill.

People count on you, at home, at work, in your community.

We are bombarded with pressure:
Be everything to everyone.
Make the meal, hold the peace, buy the gifts, don’t rock the boat.
Smile big and stay small.

And, the call is coming from inside the house. It's not them. It's you.

Here’s what the science says: chronic self-neglect leads to higher rates of burnout, resentment, physical illness, and even cognitive decline. In fact, researchers like Dr. Kristin Neff have shown that higher levels of self-compassion are linked to increased feelings of happiness, optimism, curiosity and connectedness, as well as decreased anxiety, depression, rumination and fear of failure.

So here’s your pre-Thanksgiving permission slip:
No one is expecting you to be everything to them.
Instead, be everything to you.
Rest. Protection. Care. Compassion.

If you’ve been feeling off lately — disconnected from what you want, unclear about what’s next, unsure whether what you’re doing even feels like you anymore — there’s something that can help.

It’s called the Limitless Assessment, and it’s free.

It’s a 15-minute quiz to help you figure out where your life and work are in or out of alignment with what matters most: your calling, connection, contribution, and control. Not someone else’s version of success — yours.

And, before you set the table for everyone else…
Set one for yourself.
You’re not the leftover.
You're the main course, baby.

And, there's nothing more sexy than that, am I right?