Lazy? Ungrateful? Broken? Nope.

What if the real reason you feel stuck isn’t because you’re lazy or ungrateful or broken—but because you don’t feel in control?

Control isn’t about being the boss. It’s about having agency. About owning your choices, your work, your results. About knowing that the way you spend your time is actually adding up to the life you want to live.

Let me tell you about Tara Diab, the last in my series of "let me tell you about my friend" emails I've been sending as part of our July Special.

Tara was sweeping construction sites at twelve years old. By the time she was an adult, she knew her way around a job site like it was home. She joined her brother-in-law's flooring business and brought with her a high bar for craftsmanship.

But not everyone shared her standard. The bigger the company grew, the harder it became to hold the line on quality. Tara felt the slip—in values, in excellence, in pride. The business was still doing well, but Tara wasn’t. Her connection to the work? Gone. Her sense of contribution? Shrinking. Her control? Nonexistent.

Then the economy tanked. And the decision was made for her. She left.

What followed were five messy, uncertain, hustling years. Odd jobs. Cabinet rehabs. Hanging pictures. Whatever paid. But under the radar, she kept designing. Kept creating. And slowly, Tara built Diab Custom Design from the ground up.

Now she calls the shots. Her dance card is booked out twelve months in advance. And she trains apprentices (including my own son between high school and college) with the kind of integrity most businesses forget. She’s not just working. She’s leading. She’s choosing.

That’s Control.

Without Control, you can't be in consonance.

We all crave control. But most of us are operating with coordinates set by someone else—our eighth grade guidance counselor, our college advisor, our first boss, our parents. We fake it, chase gold stars, and wonder why our work feels like a roller coaster with no brake lever in sight.

This week is about reclaiming the lever.

Because here's what I know to be true this week: When you know what work lights you up, when you have a say in how it gets done, when your environment supports your success—you stop spinning. You start building. And you get to do it your way.

Autonomy matters. In fact, it matters so much that the degree to which you have control—over the work you do, the team with which you do it, and the projects on which you are engaged—has a direct impact on your performance at work. And these days, workers tend to expect more autonomy and control over their work. Technology, in particular, has opened up new opportunities for us to do all kinds of work. We can do it from anywhere—our offices, our cars, or the other side of the globe.

Having confidence in our level of self-determination at work allows us to control our world, to feel protected and safe, and to know that we have options. Control is so important. Various studies show workers are more likely to take a job with more control rather a job with more power.

Control can come in many forms, from input on performance metrics to salary and perks to workspace design. For some, control is the flexibility to manage the burdens of the sandwich generation—those of us who are taking care of both young kids and aging parents. For others, it’s having a say in the kinds of leaders under whom you work. Perhaps you are seeking direct control over how hard you work. Or, how much money you earn through sales and commissions. Or you may require greater influence over whether your working pace looks more like the roller coaster or the merry-go-round.

The Control Mini-Course is where you begin. One of four $99 modules from my full Limitless Course, it’s built to help you redefine what success looks like, and reclaim the agency to build it your way.

Take the quiz to find your first step. Or just start here with Control.

Forward this to someone who’s tired of being told to fake it ‘til they make it.

Want to show up better for your team?

​Rachel DeAlto just dropped the leadership book we all need right now: The Relatable Leader.

Leadership isn’t about titles. It’s about trust and connection. Rachel’s research-driven roadmap helps you bridge the gap between good and great leadership — with practical tools to communicate clearly, build genuine trust, and lead more human.

If you’re managing people (or want to do it better and smarter) grab The Relatable Leader. It’s the reminder we need that the secret to inspiring excellence isn’t fancy jargon or corporate fluff. It’s relatability.