Stop being so defensive

There’s a certain kind of panic that creeps in when you’re about to walk into a moment that feels just slightly—okay, wildly—bigger than your confidence.

A job interview after years out of the market.
A presentation to a room full of people who could change your life.
A keynote with a mic pack and a green room… and suddenly you’re questioning the sanctity of your bowel control.

You know you’re qualified. You have receipts, a résumé, war stories, whole career's worth of proof. And yet, that little voice still pipes up:

“You’re not ready.”
“You don’t belong here.”
“This is a fluke.”

And if you let it, that whisper becomes a thump.
Then a thunder.
Then a full-body tremor that tells you to run.

But here’s what I’ve learned over the years—years that include time in the West Wing, two bestsellers, and a business I built from scratch: that voice lies.

I once turned to my husband, as I was heading to a keynote, and said, “I feel like the Wizard of Oz. It just feels fake to get paid this much for 40 minutes of work.”

He didn’t flinch. He didn’t coddle.

He said, “You’re not getting paid for 40 minutes. You’re getting paid for 25 years and 40 minutes of work.”

Boom. That’s the truth we forget. We are not just the person in the moment. We are every late night, every hard choice, every messy iteration that got us here. The invisible work that looks like magic to someone else.

But still, we forget. Especially when we’re asked to prove ourselves in rooms that hold power—job interviews, board meetings, big opportunities.

I once sat across from a hiring manager who literally read my résumé out loud and then said, “Well, University of Texas... not Ivy League, so that’s worth about $10,000 less. But the White House? That’s impressive. I’ll bump you back up.”

Yes, that happened.
Yes, I smiled.
Yes, I wanted to flip the table.

But in that moment, I realized: Most people don’t know how to run a great interview. They’re winging it just like you are. They don’t know what to ask. They don’t know what to look for. And if you don’t own your story, they’ll fill in the blanks with their own biases.

So—what do you do?

You stop defending your worth. And you start owning it.

When they say “Tell me about yourself,” you don’t read your résumé like a shopping list.
You connect the dots.
You lead the story.
You show how what you’ve done prepares you for what’s next.

When they ask about failure? You don’t humblebrag. You tell the truth. Show your growth. Prove that you don’t just succeed—you learn.

And when they ask, “Why do you want this role?” You don’t freeze. You show that you give a damn. You reference their latest product launch. Their HBR piece. That moment on their podcast. You make them feel seen—and they’ll see you back.

These aren’t just interview tactics.
They’re life skills.
They’re the tools of people who walk into any room and own their space, not because they faked it, but because they earned it.

Here’s what I know to be true this week: You don’t need to defend your way into the room. You’ve already been invited. All that's left to do is to own the hell out of it.

Because what they’re getting isn’t just your time.

It’s your story. Your wisdom. Your lived experience.
And that? That’s not just valuable. That's everything.

Feeling a little rusty—or maybe a little rattled—by the interview process? Take a deep breath. You’re not alone. In this video, I break down how to handle job interviews when it’s been a while, especially if you're feeling uncertain about where you’ve been… and where you’re headed next. Watch Now

And if you’re tired of downplaying your ambition and ready to start building a life that actually fits—The Limitless Course is where we start.​

Own your story.
Own your skills.
Own your worth.