Stuck? Here's the one sure fire way out.

Buckle up, turkeys, it's time to get nerdy.

I know that you are being inundated this week with talk of gratitude from every brand whose website you ever even had the audacity to sneeze near. So let me do what I love to do: tell you a bit about the science behind the story.

Yeah, that's right, I'm going to tell you why you should be grateful for gratitude.

Our story begins 12.5 weeks ago, when I was assigned a talk to watch in class. Like most videos or podcasts I have to consume, I decided to take this one in while doing other things -- I think I might have been paying bills or cleaning out my inbox at my desk, multitasking like a boss but not fully paying attention.

But then he said something that stopped me in my tracks. He said the words "heliotropic effect."

The Heliotropic Effect

This caught my attention because I am from Miami, and I love the sunshine (even though it hates me and wants rabidly to kill me). My husband, whom I love enough to live in the cold of Boston, always calls me his "little heliotrope" when I'm preening towards the light to catch a glimmer of its warm rays. So, naturally, in my narcissistic way, because I felt this was about me, I started to pay attention when I heard these words and found the heliotropic effect to be, unlike me, much more fascinating.

Here's the skinny: plants are heliotropic, which means that when placed inside, they will grow towards the light.

But here's the real kicker: so do we humans.

That talk was by Kim Cameron, who laid out this gorgeous and compelling case for why people flourish when we create space for the good -- for gratitude, compassion, forgiveness, optimism. People don't just get better. They don't just survive. They flourish.

And who doesn't want to flourish, right?

The Positive Emotional Attractor

So Kim Cameron is witness number one for you, the Gratitude Judge and Jury to consider. Now, on to witness number two: Richard Boyatzis.

Richard Boyatizis is the father of Intentional Change Theory, and his book, The Science of Change, blew my mind. Suddenly I saw the inner wiring, the scaffolding, the neurochemical choreography that explained everything I had experienced but couldn’t name in Wonderhell. It was like somebody took what I felt and gave me the manual, replete with all of the neuroscience behind it.

Let me break it down:

We have two emotional attractor states: the Positive Emotional Attractor (PEA) and the Negative Emotional Attractor (NEA). PEA = vision, renewal, compassion. NEA = stress, fear, criticism. One pulls you into openness; the other contracts you into defensiveness. This isn't to say that positive is always good, and negative is always bad. It's just that we can hope and dream in the first, while we get sh*t done in the second. We need both, in differing amounts, at different times.

But, our brains are wired to slink back to the negative state any time we aren't pump, pump, pumping in the positive state. And, that's where gratitude comes back into play.

Your brain is wired to tell you that your current prison of stuckness is a binary state. It's your nervous system protecting you, telling you that things will suck until the situation you are in changes, when really things will suck until you change. In other words, things won't magically get better when you leave the job, the marriage, the country... you have to get better first.

Start with Possibility

Intentional change theory tells us that you don’t start with the problem. You start with the possibility. You start with your ideal self -- the version of you that you can see in moments of clarity and hope, the version of you that you are when you are at your best, showing up for your friends and family and community and colleagues, who’s not buried under stress, but lifted by vision. You begin there because, while you are imprisoned by your stuckness, that you is imprisoned inside of you and needs to be let out.

And then, once you’ve anchored in that ideal, you figure out what small step you can take today to live into that version of yourself.

One step. That’s it. That’s the magic. That’s how change becomes possible, even when life feels impossible. And each time you accomplish that one step, the positive emotional attractor swaps back the negative emotional attractor until, one by one, the swats become hits, and the hits become wallops, and the wallops become knock outs.

And, before you know it, you are controlling your future emotional state, rather than the your current state controlling your emotions. Because gratitude isn’t just nice. It’s a tool at your disposal that will rewire your brain toward the best version of you.

Here’s your game plan:

1. Check in: Are you in NEA (tight chest, short fuse, everything feels urgent) or PEA (deep breath, open mind, big picture)?
2. Grab three tiny things you’re grateful for. Coffee. Socks. A friend who texted. Name them. Feel them. Repeat them.
3. Visualize your ideal self: Who are you when you are at your very best?
4. Take one step. One micro-move. Doesn’t have to be fancy. Just has to be yours.
5. Notice the shift. You just created a tipping point. Pat yourself on the back.

Here's what I know to be true this week. Small changes work, especially when things feel hopeless. They let in the light and shine it right on a flourish-filled future.

This week, let the gratitude in. Let it pull you toward the light.

You’re more heliotropic than you think.

Invest in Yourself

If you are thinking that one step might be reassessing your definition of happiness, then I have something you can be extra grateful for:

When you purchase my Limitless Course in November, I'll send you a signed copy of my book Limitless—a little something from me to you to fuel that reinvention.

This course will help you stop chasing someone else’s definition of success, and start building one that’s wildly, unapologetically yours. More meaning. More time. More money. More love. Less burnout. Less B.S.

Here's what Patrick Farran, PhD, MBA, Co-founder & CEO Ad Lucem Group had to say about the Limitless Course:

And hey—while we’re talking holidays, here’s a clip from Access Hollywood where I talk about handling all the family, food, and festivities with a little more ease and a lot more self-respect.

Happy Thanksgiving.